When I was about 21 I brought my boyfriend to meet my parents who are alcoholics chain smokers and at one point my mom was trying to bully me into going shopping with her, I had explained to her that the day before we had driven 10 hours to come visit and I wasn't really up to go for an hour drive to get to the mall and then shopping. My mom also takes a long time shopping. Anyways, she got angry and smacked me across my face right in front of my boyfriend. I was appalled. Yes my mom has been abusive before and this isn't the first or last time she's put her hands on me but to do it in front of my significant other I was furious because that was not only disrespectful towards me but it put my boyfriend in a horrible position. Of course, he's going to want to stand up for me, but she is my mom, and he wanted to remain respectful. He didn't know what to do so he just stood there in shock. I had let him know prior to meeting my parents that they are abusive and my mom or dad may lay a hand on me but I think he thought I was exaggerating and not being as serious as I was. He felt horrible because it was his idea to go meet my parents because to him meeting his significant others family is important, even though I had explained to him that since the age of 16 I hadn't lived with them long. It wasn't his fault that my mom got abusive so I never blamed him for it but I know he felt guilty because he was the one that pressured me to go visit them. It was sooo embarrassing. The first day we arrived (the day before my mom put her hands on me) my parents threw a party in the garage and got drunk, my brother was selling his dirt bike and his friends friend came over to test drive it and crashed it into the outside garage wall. Because the bike needed fixing and the garage's outside got broken my dad told him he had to buy the bike, well he then called him uncle who came over and so my dad and his friends almost got into a fist fight. Honestly, it was a huge reminder as to why I have no relationship with my parents.
Anyways, all of that to say that it is extremely embarrassing to get punched in the face while your crush/boyfriend is right there. Though my mom apologized to him after I told her we were leaving or she needed to apologize to him, obviously it didn't really make anything better. I can tell you it's awkward because I wanted to stand up for myself but I also don't see the point in putting my hands on my mom because my younger brother who was also in the room stood up for my mom and said she had the right to hit me and if I had fought back he would have stepped in and dragged me through the house (which he's done before because he too is an alcoholic who rages). I also don't believe in violence and don't think hitting her back would have done any good and it would have put my boyfriend in an odder position. That being said he never wanted to visit my family again LOL.
The boyfriend that I have now (we've been dating for a year) has no wants to meet my parents lol he is totally fine with only seeing them if they appear to social events like family reunions or weddings. Which I completely appreciate, I do not need history to repeat itself.
